Content warning! Contains themes of violence and desire for death.
Welcome to the Real World
A 10 year old anger still seethes.
I clench my teeth till it feels like they'll CRACK.
Just like the sound of your neck if I had ever had the chance.
Those are big words from such a little girl, but believe me, I can't express the complexity of my emotions from back then. I say "back then", but they still linger. Even if they're less intense now, I remember exactly how it felt; to be angry at everything and nothing at all. The feeling of injustice imposed by mere existence.
I understand that anger now.
It's a lot clearer to me.
But the understanding doesn't dull the pain.
It doesn't fix my broken psyche.
It doesn't undo the years and years and YEARS.
Of wanting to FUCKING DIE and take every living thing with me.
Is this the “real world” you spoke of, Mom?
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THAT EVEN MEANS!
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