Content warning! Contains themes of death and suicide.
Momental Desire
I don't have a death wish,
but I also don't fear death.
If anything, I fear the pain,
the suffering,
the grief I'll strike upon my loved ones.
Because I do have loved ones.
I fall asleep in the arms of a woman I love every night;
spend every day in the blissful company of the girls who make me who I am.
I have so many people to love.
People I wouldn't do without,
people I'd never want to hurt,
people who mean everything to me.
And yet,
there are moments
where none of that matters.
No matter how many or how much;
nothing is enough.
Tunnel vision
dead set
on the end.
I don't fear death
but I fear the desire that exists deep within me.
The desire that hides in plain sight,
biding its time.
Because no matter how happy I am,
it returns,
and with it
the battle
that I'm terrified
I'll lose.
And with every return,
the scales tip ever so slightly
in the favor
of the desire
to simply not be.
Comments